Indescribable Italy

From afar Italy looks serene and beautiful, sun-kissed and peaceful, ancient and well manicured. The truth up close is indescribable.  For 5 days my husband and I are staying in a small southern village called Santa Maria la Carita.  I chose it for its inexpensive air b and b and for its location, right in the heart of the Bay of Naples.  It’s close to Pompeii, Vesuvius, and Ercolano, it’s an easy drive to Sorrento, Salerno, and Paestum, and would be a great hopping off point for a quiet Easter Sunday drive along the Amalfi Coast. Madre di Dio what a mess!

The Heart of Santa Maria la Carita

Firstly, I love Italy.  I like the noise, the bartering, the mi scusi, mia caro’s, the ancientness of everything, the bustle, the art, the architecture, the food, the wine, the coffee, the history, did I mention the food?  Love it. It’s just that I have only ever been to the north and southern Italy is simply nuts.

Yesterday, hubby and I drove to Sorrento, the land of the lemons and more ceramics than I could possibly afford to ship home.  “I’ll take one of everything!”, said I several times before Brett hustled me out of the shop. Beautiful lemon groves glisten in the centre of town and the entire area smells like lemons. I drank limoncello, I ate lemon gelato, I even had lemon on my pizza! However what was supposed to be a 40-minute drive took us over two hours and it isn’t even peak tourist season.  I think half of that was taken up getting us out of this little hamlet we are living in.  Great apartment, includes a parking spot for our rental car, but our street is more of an alley and we are in a rat's nest of streets and back alleys that in truth look more like a quartiere or barrio.  Not a word of a lie, the owner of our apartment had to send his brother to the centre of town to find us and show us how to get here.  Google maps basically said, “no way!”

Today was the leisurely Easter Sunday drive along the Amalfi coast. Positano, Praiano, Maiori, Amalfi tiny little seaside towns along a picturesque drive the guidebook said.  Ha, the writer must have been Italian.  White knuckle, hair-raising, hairpin curves for 40 km with the fearless Italian drivers and motorcyclists to deal with.  My hubby is getting the world's best driver trophy and if we get out of this alive and without having purchased a Seat, Leon for the damage we did to it, it will be a miracle.  So far so good, not a scratch.

Hairpin turns at Praiano

Italians, according to a recent survey, are the worst drivers. They never signal, enter and exit traffic on a whim, switch lanes hastily, blast their horns, stop for a chat with other drivers, and anything goes when it comes to parking. Their recklessness makes fellow Europeans fume: 38 percent of the 10,000 questioned in a recent survey by the French motorway operator, Vinci, described Italians as dangerous drivers. And Italians themselves didn't argue with that depiction, 58 percent of them agree In my humble opinion as a passenger, they have absolutely no rules.  If your vehicle is small enough you can go anywhere.  Into oncoming traffic, on the sidewalk, between two lanes of traffic, literally anywhere.  We have yet to see a working stop light and stop signs are totally disregarded. If you are dumb enough to wait at one you will one; be there a very long time and two, be honked at repeatedly.  According to a local driving instructor, “ A lesson at Andrea Doria costs €25 for 40 minutes, but the entire course, including theory tests, costs around €700 and can take a year or more to complete. Especially with the economic crisis, people are asking family or friends to teach them to drive so they can save money."  Rubbish! Personally, I think this excuse is total nonsense given that the ages of unruly drivers are not limited to young people or people who learned to drive since 2008! Men young and old, women of all ages, scooter and motorcycle drivers, walkers, doesn’t matter, no rules apply. Even the concept of a baby seat is not taken seriously here.  How many years in Canada since you saw toddlers sitting on their parent's laps in the front seat of cars? Apparently, we will notice an improvement in driving once we get away from Napoli, it is said the drivers get worse the farther south you go.

Italian Traffic

So our leisurely afternoon drive was anything but leisurely and led us to the most amazing vistas, small towns full of people, tight narrow corners, and lanes our car only fit down if we folded in the mirrors, but it was an afternoon of adventure and self-determination.  So, so glad Brett is the official driver, and he is grateful for the automatic upgrade from Europcar. I still love Italy, just never going to drive here.

Cheers,

Rachel

Maiori

Lemons in Sorrento